Uneventful MRI

Well, I do hope that the results will go as uneventfully as the MRI. We did get there a little later than they had requested, but we were there well in time for the 4pm start time. They didn't take Brian in until about 4:15 or maybe later (I forgot to check) but they were out around 5:10. No major mishaps, and no idea what they saw. Surely the techs can't tell anyway, because we know the syrinx is likely still there, and the brain sits lower than normal. But it's only the comparisons to last year that matter, and the techs probably don't have that ability. So now I wait.

A couple of years ago I had the MRI done after the visit, and didn't see the neurologist until February, and he never called me. That was one of the years when we were still seeing the surgeon, so I knew everything was still OK, because he read the films for us. I don't know if I don't call the neurologist this time, if he will call me with results. I am tempted not to call! But then I will just be in an absolute panic in February, or sooner if he happens to call this week without my preemptive inquiry.

Anyway, it was all OK. I left some meatballs in the crockpot, and also some salad, and we were home a little after 5:30. I got a parking spot on the first go-round in the hospital lot, and I finished the crossword (with just a *little* help from the receptionist), the word sleuth, the jumble, and the cryptogram. Then I watched John McCain talk about how strong our economy still is while I listened to the numbers coming out of Wall Street and thought thankfully I don't work there anymore! Although most of the people I used to work for and/or with are no longer under investment banks. Most have branched out on their own as independent investment management companies.

And in other news, Brian is enjoying being back on the swim team, although it is tough for him trying to keep up at times. He claims he is going to wake up tomorrow and go for a run, in a further effort to bolster endurance and pulmonary capacity. I guess his cold is better, but now E has come down with one! Today (as you see from the slideshow above) is our 18th wedding anniversary. As I sat and watched the little TV at the hospital while I waited, I thought about where I had been 18 years ago that moment, at the Panorama Club, without a trace of knowledge of chiari malformation, syrinx, or even what an MRI entailed. It's hard to connect my life to that one, so much has happened between then and now. I will resist the temptation to say "those were the days" in the hopes that there are still even better days to come!

And They're Off...!

I don't actually know how this is going to go. I got the girls out of the house right around 7. Brian will be OK, because by the time all the hustle and bustle of their waking up is in full swing, he gets up and still has plenty of time. Having two girls who need to shower, fix their hair and primp will be challenging. Although perhaps as in the past, Megan will lose the drive to fix her hair and primp, possibly before next week is out. She took her shower last night, too, so today wasn't too bad. It just got a little crowded by the bathroom sink at one point.

Tomorrow will be tougher, because their bus will probably come much earlier. That's what it did last year. I suppose it isn't a big deal for me to just drive them, and drop them off early at school for now. My problems will start when I also want to use the showers in the morning for work and don't want to take the time to drive them to the bus, which is a five minute walk away. I don't want to get E used to the luxury of leaving at 7 when some days she might need to be ready to go at 6:40. 7 is already an hour earlier than she had been used to at home. She said she had a hard time falling asleep last night. This has been a long anticipated day for her.

Brian always has trouble falling asleep on the night before school starts, but then he's wiped out by Friday night. It's a good thing our school starts on Thursday. You can't get too tired out in just two days, and then you're more ready for the first full week.

I took my shower before dropping Brian at the bus, thinking I didn't want to leave the new cleaning people (turns out to be one girl) alone. But now I am just waiting for things to open so I can go out and do things. I'm holed up in the basement with Molly, so as not to be in the way. I ironed Megan's shorts that were down here, but there isn't much else I can do, unless I scour the bathroom and kitchen down here, and vacuum and dust. But I'm trying to be quiet! At least I have the laptop, but I'm growing quickly bored of this as well.

In other news, Hanna seems still willing to spare us Sunday, which is good if it comes true. I have to run and do some party shopping today at Costco, and I have to plan for seating for about 40 people!! If the weather is bad I'll have to buy some pictionary paper or something!! :-D And I am beginning to worry myself about the MRI. I thought I was so smart, getting out of having it done over the summer! Now here I am in the beginning of the school year, having it hanging over my head. I was thinking today how things would be if we didn't follow up with the neurologist. We would probably only have annual follow-ups with the surgeon, and he would never order MRIs and would tell us every year how great Brian looked. Then I wonder, why didn't I go that route? And then I say, "oh yeah. Because this guy is thorough." I know I would panic either way. I suppose the more frequent MRIs are less stressful each time, but they bring more frequent bouts of stress.

Little Update

This morning, in my gmail, was an email! It was from E! She received by mail a piece of paper notifying her of her placement. It didn't have any of the additional information that I rushed to fill in, in fact, I think I know what it was, it was the "placement notification" form that I had to complete.

So I have written her back and she has written me again, but I have also turned her loose on Megan, and vice versa, so the two of them are Facebook friends. Since she hadn't been sent any pictures, these are the first images she is having of our world. However, the only one in those pictures who is identified is Megan, so she still has no idea what the rest of us look like.

The board meeting is scheduled for tonight, but they have lost a member. On Sunday night, one of them died. I don't see any notification on the website that they have postponed the meeting, although the wakes are today. The funeral is tomorrow, so perhaps they either went to the early wake or will adjourn from the meeting and go straight to the evening session. At any rate, perhaps I will have a confirmation on the approval by later tonight; then we can start to make plans with the school.

In other news, the beach club swim team people have helped me out a little by adding C's name to the roster, so he will be able to receive a swim team t-shirt, and practice with them, and also swim in the two meets scheduled for the week he is here (if he is so inclined). They waived the $50 charge, but I did say I would pay the guest fee if we were staying at the club. All he has to do to race is swim one lap of freestyle, so hopefully he can do that. Maybe Megan can work with him a little before the first meet. Oh, and Brian's neck seems to be better. Maybe he just slept on it wrong, or perhaps it was something to do with the cold water when he swam that morning. That was my little reality check, in case I was getting too comfortable in life, the way the ducks were lining up and all.

Crazy Weather!

This is a crazy week - storms, sun, hot, cool, humid, dry. It never stays one way for long! This morning at the beach, it seemed like it was going to be a postcard-perfect day, but then at around 1, our skies opened up. It was raining so hard that the street couldn't even accommodate all the water and it was running like a river. Now it's all gone and the sun is shining brightly.

Megan is babysitting next door again, so we didn't get to stay at the beach. It may not have even rained there, although there was a huge blob moving across the radar. I'm trying to decide how to spend my time, and that is how I seem to have spent most of it!

Brian has put me into a near panic by complaining of neck pain. He said it started to hurt him yesterday, while he was swimming in the practice. Of course, my blood runs cold and my heart beats out of my chest when he has these complaints. Invariably he produces some new complaint each July, so I can begin to panic for our August doctor's appointment. This year, of course, we have no MRI scheduled, and I would *really* like for there NOT to be one. I am just not up for it. I think it's time for a break. So I am making him lay low. I gave him some motrin, and he didn't go to practice today anyway because he had to get his teeth cleaned.

Anyway, that is it. Life is quite boring and slow right now. I need to get all the humdrum daily chores caught up before we go away on July 6; and I am still trying to decide how to best furnish the guest bedroom, and what to do with the computer set-up and rolltop desk. I am now leaning towards leaving the desk, and getting a smaller one for the computer in the family room. Then we can move back in there when E leaves; just in case we never do this again, I don't want to completely rearrange our lives permanently. After all, we do have the guest room in the basement. I just can't stick her there, it wouldn't be right.

I keep finding things on online sites, and then I wish it were possible to see them in person. I wanted to drive up to Ikea today, but then Brian mumbled and grumbled. Tomorrow, maybe I won't give him a choice. I can't go alone, the packages are huge, and you need someone to wait with your things while you go get the car anyway. Plus, it is a long ride of about 40 minutes. I also found a nice Captain's Bed for pretty cheap at an online store, and they have a showroom in NJ, but it's in Newark. And then I'd have to get a mattress, too. And there is also the option of dismantling Brian's bunk and putting one bed in the guest room. That's currently my second choice, to buying a cheap bed from Ikea and sticking a twin mattress on it.

I also want to get new carpet for Brian's room (his stinks) and he needs a new dresser (his drawers don't slide properly). But I don't know where to go to get it, and then the bed will have to be dismantled anyway, to get it out of the room, and that would be the perfect time to put the other half as the guest bed. So all of these things are intertwined. Buying the new carpet will be like opening a can of worms.

So, in other news, report cards will be mailed out on Friday. The board meeting where we expect approval for E is tomorrow night, so maybe the blog will be a little more interesting after that. I put together a card and a little photo essay and sent it along to C in the Bronx, so he can see our house, pool, beach, and the race track. I also enclosed the church portrait we had done. I hope I don't get a call in a few days saying he's changed his mind!

A Trip Down Pseudomeningocele Lane

It's hot outside! I did waste some of the later part of the school day, browsing one of my favorite nurseries and buying very few new plants. I guess I am reaching the point of saturation, plus we are considering a very costly redesign of the plantings in front of the house. We are paying $300 just for the architect's drawing.

So I am sitting in the air conditioning, and was surfing through some sites I haven't seen in a while. As Megan has had headaches two days in a row now, I googled 'chiari headache'; since Brian never really had these, I didn't know where exactly they hurt. Megan's headaches are between her eyes, so possibly another sinus issue. The first approach will be to treat her again with the Claritin-D. I think the mold spores are up now that the tree pollens are down. Anyway, I digress. I happened upon the following article: http://www.conquerchiari.org/subs%20only/Volume%206/Issue%206(3)/Autologous%20Duraplasty%206(3).asp.

I read through it, and was surprised to see the name of Brian's neurosurgeon. I read the article a couple of times, it is a little confusing, and then I read the tables on the right. The doctors have reviewed 50+ cases done over ten years of which 40 had duraplasty with their own cranial tissue; 24 of these also had a syrinx. I wonder if Brian is one of those 40? Because here is the thing: they assess the post-operative complications, and say that the cases were followed for eleven months.

I just found an abstract of the article and it must be Brian. Here is a quote from the abstract: "There was an overall morbidity rate of 2.5% due to one pseudomeningocele treated with a single percutaneous tap."

But back to the study. They list the possible complications of opening the dura (duraplasty) and only report that they had one case of ANY complication: pseudomeningocele! Well. Was that Brian? It has to be - is it really possible that he is the ONLY patient of this doctor ever to develop this symptom? Wouldn't that just figure.

Anyway, I feel like Brian is famous. Haha. I guess I'll go sit by the pool and read my book now. That is what I was doing, but, as invariably happens in Burbtopia, a ride-on lawnmower appeared out of the idyllic silence, and started up on the lawn right across the street. He should be done by now.

In other news, apparently the attorney is responding to our concerns on the missing documentation of our home's previous owner. She blamed it, of course, on her former secretary, and said that the title policy was erroneously packed away in storage. So she has to dig through storage and find out what all is really going on. Who knows how long that will take, but it better not be a year!!! Megan is taking the Biology SATs tomorrow, and she has barely cracked a book to study. She is going to stay home from swimming tonight and pore through the College Board sample test, and look over her text. Then the test is tomorrow morning at 8. Obviously, no word on Fresh Air or exchange student, so that can't be a good thing on the latter. I am feeling so resentful towards our school district. But I guess they have other things on their minds, what with their party prom bus being arrested and the rowdy uprising at the last board meeting, over failure to complete a turf project at the other high school. I am going to send the assistant superintendent an email after I hear from the rep, and am sure that he really didn't get back to her. I hope it isn't that they don't want to work with that agency...

Oh, and a new problem arises. Brian will not swim in our pool, after the Chipmunk Ball ended in such tragedy. Incidentally, once they were fished out, so too was a mouse, from the skimmer. It must have been quite an evening.

Forbidden Knowledge?

So, during spring break, I dragged the kids to Philadelphia for a quick visit. We went out on a quick shopping spree, ending up at Urban Outfitters. Brian, ever the spoiled and pampered, was whining because I wasn't buying him things (like laser pointers, or Airsoft guns). In Urban Outfitters, he picked up a book. It was titled, Forbidden Knowledge: 101 Things NOT Everyone Should Know How to Do. He asked to have it, and I quickly glanced at it. Here are the ones that caught my eye:

* how to know if your neighbor is a zombie
* stage a coup
* e-bay scams
* Negotiate with kidnappers

So, I think, OK, he will read this (thats good, right?) and it sounds a lot like The Worst Case Scenario Survival Guide that I have had for years. So I got it for him. No big deal. He read a couple of humorous excerpts on the way home, and I forgot all about it.

Until today.

I was working, during the Math Olympics at school. At lunch, I checked the messages at home. It was a bit raucous in the teachers' room, so I didn't know who it was that was on the machine, until I realized that it was the guidance counselor from the middle school!!! He was rattling off something about Brian's language arts teacher, and the book...suddenly I realized he meant THIS book! Then my mind went back to Brian showing the book to someone who said, "if that is forbidden, are you supposed to know about it?" at which time I briefly thought, "Hm. Maybe I should delve a little further into the book." And I forgot all about it.

Until today.

So I have opened it up again, and found the topics I did not notice at first:

* how to be a porn star
* how to play Russian roulette
* how to become an assassin

And, as the guidance counselor pointed out, it "goes on and on" and is entirely inappropriate for middle school!!! Of course, most of the topics could be very helpful, such as how to complain and get results, lighting farts on fire, or placing a gypsy curse. I would also very much like to know how to create crop circles, or ten things I should never say to the police. But, all in all, I have been forced to suck it up and act appalled - as, in fact, I am. This is just what I did not need with this kid!!

Lately I have been thinking, well, maybe guidance can help with the fact that these kids in his grade are being mean to him. Just yesterday they were all together in the neighbor's garage, and the other three jumped up and got on their bikes, and all rode off without Brian. It makes me wonder what life is like in these kids homes to convince them that they are so far superior to others that it's ok to treat other people like that. Then they'll come and ring the bell, like they can't wait to play. There's no rhyme or reason to it. Perhaps Brian should look up "build freakish muscles" in his new book, and use that to overcome them the next time they pick on him.

But, I suppose I can scratch that. I don't imagine guidance will be feeling too sympathetic towards us these days. On to Plan B, whatever that might be.

And so, such went my day. Tonight we are going out for dinner and to see a play with a church group. At least I have some good dinner conversation. This book will be well accepted by the church folk, to be sure.

In other news, the one little chiari girl I have been following is not doing well, and it is making me so mad. I am getting the feeling that the doctors who are treating her just do not know what they're doing at all. If that were my kid, I'd want her out of that hospital so fast; but she's too sick to be moved, and she's their mess now anyway. I remember feeling that way with Brian briefly, but he was never as sick as this little girl. For the one day that he was, our surgeon was very understanding and accommodating. And effective. Otherwise, it is the weekend. Which will revolve around baseball and weather in our house. Time to catch up on some more laundry. And maybe make some moonshine, crash a wedding, or do some subway surfing.

Wasting Space

Yep. That is what I'm doing this week, just wasting space. I've been catching up on all the chiari blogs and carepages that I follow, two in particular are very alarming. It's never good when a child goes in for surgery, but when they aren't recovering well and the doctors don't have any idea why - that's when it's really bad. Just as I typed that, I got an email alert to an update on another little girl. Her joints are so swollen that they don't work right anymore, as a result of arachnoiditis, which is her body's inflammatory reaction to all the surgeries she has had. It's incurable, and causes a lifetime of pain. Right now she is in the hospital waiting for an umpteenth shunt revision. Her mother writes that she is more upset than ever before.

So on Sunday night, I turned down that sub call, and she has not called again. I will work tomorrow, but that will be it for me for the week. Maybe she'll call with some more. I don't mind the down time, I even went for a couple of walks, but I would like to have the paycheck.

Brian has a baseball game tonight, the first time he will play with the Little League team. It should be interesting, he missed their first game on Saturday while we were away, and kids told him that his team got clobbered. I don't know why, but perhaps will find out tonight.

It's nice not having to drive to swimming, but weird. Megan decided not to do spring track after all, since she has already missed almost half the season. The coach won't know her, and she probably won't get many opportunities to run. She certainly doesn't need to do it for exercise, as spring training at the Y starts in just another week (actually it starts Monday, but she doesn't have to go for an extra week since she went to Nationals). I'm still waiting for them to post the 2009 Qualifying Times so we will know if she is guaranteed a trip back next year, or if she's going to have to swim her butt off again to beat the new times.

On that note, she has stayed after school to catch up on some missed work, so I must go fetch her and prepare to shuttle Brian to his ortho appointment and thenback for baseball. Stats to follow!

In other news: Molly's leg seems ok today. She had pulled off almost all of the fur, but she hasn't tried to go at it at all since yesterday. I'll leave her helmeted anyway. Kevin continues the Battle of the Moles, half of one now lies bloodied in the middle of the street and our yard looks like it's strewn with mousetraps. They came around and picked up the leaves and itchy balls today, but we didn't know, so our yard is still littered with junk on top of all the metal traps.

But now the sun is coming out! Let me go and join it.

Thursday, Already?

I can't believe how fast this week has gone by. First, I had the debacle of the cracked filling, which did have to be partially refilled after three shots of novacaine, which left my jaw sore and numb at the same time, for hours. Then, as that wore off, I felt what I thought was a sore on my tongue but soon realized was an actual cut from something he must have done accidentally, either with the tool that holds it out of the way or when the tooth isolator thing was stuck and he had to wrench it out when he was done. So, that's still healing slowly.

Then came Tuesday, when I got a call at 9:05, as I watched Regis and Kelly while lying in bed with Rusty the cat, to go in to work for the morning. I had to be there by 9:30! well, I made it. After which I had to come home and get ready to take Brian to the neurologist for his check-up. At least, thankfully, that went well. We may not even have to go back for the MRI in the summer. I'm really hoping!!

Yesterday I worked all day in the special ed kindergarten class. So few students, and they can be such a handful. And then Brian had the orthodontist, then a basketball game. So we went to Chili's for some extra calories which I DON'T need at all. My diet starts tomorrow.

Yesterday morning, at breakfast, Buddy the cat had a strange meow. I forgot about it, since I was in such a rush. But this morning, it was worse. The big tough guy has this raspy little scratchy meow, like a kitten! He seems ok otherwise, except for a little rough breathing when I go close to him and he gets nervous. I'll give it a couple more days, but I just spent $135 on Molly last weekend for her hot spots (which, at least, are gone and she has stopped chewing since getting an antibiotic). This is just crazy.

Now we face the weekend. President's weekend! We have no special plans, although Megan has promised to babysit Saturday, which means she has to miss her swim practice. Oh well. It's Y Silver States this weekend, so the coaches will mostly be down there watching those swimmers. The cats are away! Let the mice play!!

Ashes to Ashes

Funk to funky, we know Major Tom's a junkie ...

no seriously. It's Ash Wednesday, or that's what the calendar says. It feels more like Memorial Day. The gulls are crying (ok, so maybe they're really Canada Geese), the air is warm, and there's a smell of spring everywhere. Of course, the flu bug is loving it as much as everyone else, which is still keeping me busy with work, as there are teachers calling out every day.

So, the Giants won the Big One. They had their ticker tape parade and their fans trashed downtown New York while Hillary cleaned up. Now the trophy will go to Giants Stadium, so the Jets can pretend it's theirs every other week.

Brian hasn't mentioned any more headaches, but he's been too busy trying to be out of the house as much as possible, and when he is home he's trying to scam time on X-Box Live. His appointment with the neurologist is scheduled for next Tuesday, I always love those and the time leading up to them. His walking and running gait has been looking pretty good, though, so ::knock wood::...I hope no surprises. Although, not that anything would ever surprise me after three years ago. I like to try to go to church right before for that extra last request, but this weekend I have to take Megan to a swim meet in Trenton, of all places. At least we are going to the service tonight, for ashes. That one is so gloomy.

Speaking of swimming, her last big meet of the season is Saturday. The local so-called reporter who covers girls' swimming is once again asleep at the helm. He hasn't posted a blog in over two weeks, although they released the state tournament brackets on Monday and the psych sheets for the meet yesterday. His last blog post was rudely entitled 'leftovers' from the article where he failed to give any press to the girl who won MVP at the meet, and instead droned on and on about the teams he seems to fancy. He tried to make up for it in a pathetic blog with a lame title, (oh yeah, and he got one last dig in at Megan, saying he didn't agree with her having gotten the MVP award because she's a freshman) and he hasn't been heard from since.

I can hardly wait to see his review of the psych sheets, as the girl who lost to Megan at the last meet has mysteriously resurfaced seeded .01 faster than Megan - bumping Megan to third seed. I'm suspicious, as I have been watching all the time in the paper and never saw anyone swim faster than that time. Even the rankings in the paper two days earlier had the girl in with her slower time.

Ah, here come the gulls again!!! I'd better go make myself an umbrella drink and enjoy the 70 degree weather in February. :-)

The Gifts That Keep Giving

Well, I have only worked one day this pay period, and I am lucky that it turned out to be a full day. I was scheduled for a half, and one of the teachers asked me to fill in for her instead. Meanwhile, the bills are coming in. I think each of the three credit cards will be about $500 more than I would like to pay. This means about $1500. That should take me until summer to pay off at the rate I am going. With all this talk of lower interest rates ... why aren't MINE any lower???

And so we survived the swim meet this week. Megan went in exhausted, but the other girl was in the same boat, having just come from practice herself, so the two of them dueled it out to the end. Luckily, it was a meter pool, so they cut the 500 down to a 400, and they only had to do 16 laps. They were pretty much neck and neck, but Megan pulled it off at the end. There's one meet tomorrow, but that team doesn't really have anyone. The Big One comes next Friday. At least it should be exciting, win or lose. Too bad there is no official timing at that meet. No Y National times there. Although she has one chance this weekend, on Sunday, at a meet at our own Y, in the 200. I don't know, though, the conditions are not quite right, and I have a feeling she will be the top seed. It's always better to have someone to chase when you're trying to make a time.

Brian pulled the old headache thing again. I hate when he does this so close to the neurologist appointment. He called me yesterday from school at 1:30 and said his ear and head hurt. The nurse said she looked in his ear and thought there was pressure on the eardrum, but no infection. I gave him some triaminic last night but it made no difference, so we went to the doctor today. Now he has rynatan, hopefully that will help. I also bought some liquid motrin so he can take that in the nurse's office and not get sent home all the time with headaches, since he still won't swallow even the smallest of miniature pills.

I took advantage of being at the pediatrician to ask if the neurologist has sent her a letter since our summer appointment. I am still anxious because the radiologist read the chiari area as crowded, so I wanted to see if he said anything to the pediatrician in his letter. Unfortunately, he has not sent a letter, either about Brian's summer visit or, she says, many of her other patients who see him. However, I did read the letter from August 2006, where he said that the brain tonsils, which used to be 8-10mm below the foramen magnum ("big hole") they are now just slightly below. He was happy about this in 2006, and last year I asked if there had been a change since 2006, and he said no, there had not.

My own headache has prevailed since before my birthday. Today, for the first time, I felt some lasting relief. I took advil this morning, but I am beginning to feel like an advil-addict. After lunch I noticed it didn't hurt at all anymore. I hope it lasts. We are going to a funeral for one of the swim girls' dads today, after Megan's practice. He died somewhat unexpectedly when he went for surgery for what has been an ongoing cancer battle for him. It's very sad, unimagineably so. I remember him going in for one of his biggest surgeries, and perhaps one of his first, just one week after Brian's chiari decompression.

Meanwhile, Brian is winding down his piano lesson. I must go without a creative afterthought.

My God, What Have I Done?

Thanks to the Talking Heads, Once in a Lifetime, this has become my catch phrase for everything and anything blundersome. For me, today, it is my hair.

I am now 42. It was my birthday yesterday. As is standard around my birthdays, I feel the need to change. I am campaigning for a new car, something more fuel efficient and 'green', but I also decided it was finally time for a haircut. I went to my regular guy and told him I was considering bangs. He said he would angle them so I could still pull the hair back if I wanted to. This sounded good.

Partway through my appointment, a woman came and began to talk to him, which I found to be rather rude. I listened to everything they said, and they included me to a degree, but they were discussing people and places with whom and which I am not familiar. Afterwards, my hair looked ok at first glance.

When I got home and took a better look, this was no longer the case. The angled bangs are only angled on my right side - on the left, I have just a very short piece of hair, angled into nothing. Then I have very long layers and very, very little change in the length. Which, to me, is a little long to have at age 42. Or 41. Or 40!

The next day I let it curl and the results were just not good. The small piece was ok, it curled to look more like a little curl. The 'angled' side was a wild runaway experiment.

Yesterday I tried to straighten it, but was so discouraged with the unevenness that I just gave up. So today I say to myself, "My God, What Have I Done?" I want to call and request a fix, but I am generally non-confrontational. I feel like they will resent this and I always feel I will be expected to tip again, and I don't want to. Plus, I hate going there, and now I have to go back again - and I don't even know if I can get an appointment.

But in other news - I am working on the car purchase(or waiting to see if I will get permission to get it!) Puff is recovering well and seems thrilled to be spayed! No more heats, no more peeing. I take her into the bathroom and close the door, and she hops right into her box and pees. She is so good. Swimming is still in full swing, and now Brian has started basketball, with baseball just around the corner. One of his teachers sent back her questionnaire and I think it is pretty clear that he will not end up being diagnosed with any learning issues, if we're going on those responses. So I guess that is good news.

Megan is still undefeated in the 200 and the 500 free, but for some reason no teams ever put their better swimmers up against her. There are two meets coming up where that may not be the case, but I expected her to have a good race last night, and she did not.

I've read a few chiari pages and many of the kids are having problems. Some are having unexplained pain and issues, others are developing reherniated tonsils. It is so upsetting that this is something that should be so simple, and yet it just isn't. It makes me so grateful that Brian has done so well, and yet so anxious for the future at the same time. I ""knock wood"" every time I talk about this. It is a monster.

And so, as I do the loads of laundry and suck down advil today, I work up the nerve to look in the mirror. Then, I ask myself, "Where does this highway go?"

Moving Right Along

Well, the great swim caper is behind us. There are still those nay-sayers who want to say that Megan did not deserve the award for swimmer of the meet, but they seem to be outnumbered by those who are genuinely happy for her. What bothers me the most is that the nay-sayers act as if she has done something to offend them. They lose sight of the fact that she is just a kid, dedicated to her sport, and not at all affected by any of the glory of this whole thing, thanks in part to her club coach, who refuses to acknowledge any high school accomplishments, even if they did put her within two seconds of a Y national time, on a weekend when we were closed out of the only meet at which she might have had a chance before Y States.

So she is back to her school and her mega-practice schedule. Tonight she had spinning and lifting as well. Brian had the orthodontist, and then we had dinner at Applebee's. We had a good chat about his issues with school, and he confessed to a couple of strange sensations in his hands and throat when he is having to sit and work throughout the day. He says that sometimes his hands feel all jittery and he just wants to shake them out, and sometimes his throat starts to feel like he has to scream. He also brought up the shaky hands, and said that, in homeroom, he often knocks over chess pieces when he makes a move. It might be funny if it were not so upsetting in some ways...so we will see if we get anywhere with these questionnaires on ADD/ADHD. Our appointment is February 12 with the neurologist. I hate those.

Puff is spayed! She went in on Tuesday, poor thing, I had to chase her around and catch her by a back paw. I asked them to give her something that she could hide under while she waited, but who knows if they did. By 5pm she was ready to come home. I made her a little studio apartment out of the kids' bathroom, complete with a little "cat-house" where she could go and hide away. She is feeling fairly well, as far as I can tell, but her buddy Rusty missed her so much that he can't resist jumping on her neck every time he sees her. I decided to let her stay loose today while I worked for three hours. When I got home, she and Rusty were nowhere in sight. I flipped up the couch, and found them snuggled together underneath. Aww.

And tomorrow: TGIF! and another swim meet. The press covers Megan now. God help her when someone beats her.

oh, Happy Day!

I took down the tree! There is no evidence of Christmas remaining, except for the fiberoptic tree, which goes into a box, balls and all, when I am ready. The real tree was coming apart into little sprigs of dead pine all over the living room, and I was so tired of having it block out every bit of light that came through that window. Must rethink that location for next year.

The thing is, it wouldn't be so bad. I mean, Christmas is a nice and happy time. Until you are the person responsible for unpacking 17 boxes of accumulated CRAP that just clutters up the house for a minimum of three weeks. And then the person responsible for repacking these 17 boxes. Why can't we just have one box of ornaments, and then maybe a few small items for around the house? How lovely would that be? Buy a tree, take out THE box, trim the tree. Done.

Although I love the Village. Don't want to shortchange that. However - snow everywhere - the roads curl up - the people fall over - the lampposts don't light - pieces break when I pack them up - trees stick me and don't fit in the box that I think they came in. And this year, thanks to Puff and Rusty, I went light on the Village: no people, no snow, no street lights, no trees. It was a beautiful scene.

As I expected, I am so grateful that I didn't put up many lights outside. Just the dancing snowmen and the lighted one. And some ribbon and garland, but that comes down easily at any time, like the fiberoptic tree.

I just love to have my house back. I feel like it's spring already. The dust shows up on everything, and I can really see how bad of a housekeeper I am with all that clutter gone. It inspires me to vacuum and clean. For about two hours.

But now it's the dreaded New Years Eve. We are actually invited to a party this year - that's two years in a row! However, as the day got closer I found myself thinking how much I liked the years when we just went to my favorite restaurant, Bahr's, in Highlands, and ate their crab cakes and drank Kendall Jackson chardonnay. That is my favorite New Years Eve.

Now Brian has just come home and he is complaining that it's winter, so we shouldn't go to a shore restaurant. Contradictory to that, he says - but it will be packed! So we'll see what happens. Megan has a sore back, and no wonder, that training this week = overtraining. I told her to tell the coach she's sore, take a couple of days off later in the week. She won't even hear of it. I used to feel like a pressure parent, telling her not to miss practice. Now I can't get her to take a day off here and there. The county championship meet is Saturday afternoon, I don't want her to hurt herself; they're also using medicine balls again.

Meanwhile, I emailed all of Brian's teachers regarding their Christmas comments on the progress report. I asked two of them to fill in questionnaires for his neurologist, and I have been researching "executive dysfunction". I found a published paper on one site that sounded like it was written about Brian. But Kevin says it is like a horoscope, that it would apply to anybody. Well, again ... we'll see. I don't expect to hear back from any of them before school starts back up on Wednesday.

Well, there are just seven hours remaining in 2007. I must go and put them to good use.

Merry Christmas from the Middle School

Progress reports arrived yesterday. I suppose I could say it is slightly better than last year's second marking period, when Brian was really in the midst of his middle school floundering. The science class, the one which he had been in danger of failing before we coached him to a 100% on the next test, says "pleasure to have in class." Well, that was the good news.

Of course, I don't know he did on last week's test in that class yet.

The other classes were perplexing. Most say 'homework quality needs improvement.' Spanish says that Brian is missing homework or assignments, but he is well prepared for class. Language Arts says 'come in for extra help.' Math says 'satisfactory progress' and social studies might as well say, "what is up with this lazy kid and why is he not doing the work he is so clearly capable of doing?"

So what do I do now? It is a full time job just managing this kid's education. All of the teachers, except for one, have websites where they post homework. I am always being told "I did it already," or "I don't have homework in that class." I created a form for him to fill in daily and return to me, and he is supposed to show mehis assignment pad every day. The form often falls by the wayside, and I tell myself, maybe he is turned around, let's see what the next grade report shows.

And so the next grade report has shown. I am at a loss. Upstairs, in a file, I have two forms from the neurologist, which, just last week I was thinking I might not use after all. I will dig them out as soon as the kids go back to school. These are assessments for ADD, which I don't actually think is the issue, but what do I know...at least it will be a starting point.

Many chiari children have cognitive issues, and I feel pretty sure this is part of it. But he is also young, and immature,and peer-pressured. The problem is that the peers who are pressuring seem to be able to handle all of this and school as well. Brian can excel with just minimal effort. The trouble lies in the fact that he is unwilling to put even minimal effort, and his studies are in such disarray that it's difficult for me to guide him.

I have read much about neuropsychological testing, and I hope to look into that. I did go so far as to leave a message for a woman who was recommended by a friend. In fact, we are going to that friend's house tonight, so I may ask again. , as the person never returned my call. Not such a good sign, though. I found another local guy by googling.

I'll see if the results of those questionnaires can get the neurologist to write us a referral. I'd better act quickly, because my threat is Catholic school, and I would need to make that sort of decision soon.

On a positive note, Megan's was wonderful as always, although it still listed her first marking period absences. All of the comments were positive, but fora straight A+ student, what else can they write?

Otherwise, that's all there is. Our houseguests have arrived and we are getting ready for Christmas. It's warm(ish) and rainy outside, not the best weather for Christmas.

First Snow!

It snowed today! We have a winter wonderland. It's a little hindered in appearance by the piles of leaves that have yet to be picked up, but it is a white world nonetheless, very serene looking. I think tonight is probably the town tree lighting, since we're going to the church spaghetti dinner; and they always coincide.

I've been avoiding going back outside since I am developing the terrible fear of the holiday shoppers. I must go get cat food and some other things, and my heart speeds up at the thought of the parking lot at Target. Yesterday I drove about 100 miles on the highway with trucks and psychopaths. By the time I got home, I really needed a shot of valium or perhaps even morphine.

I was reading a post on one of the message board where a guy tells how he was harassed by an aggressive motorist. the guy came up behind him, flashing his lights and honking. So the narrator chose to slow down, to be annoying. The pursuer then went to the right lane to pass, at which point our "victim" sped up again!! As is the case so often these days, the end result was physical. The two cars pulled over, and the pursuer slugged our victim.

The message board is one for chiari sufferers, so this guy had chiari. He got the guy's license plate number, and filed a police report. The tone of his post is such that he was wronged on the highway. As in the case of the agitated seventh grader who took a cheap swing at the wiseguy - the aggressive driver was obviously not a model citizen. However - not one person has posted in reply - "what the hell were you thinking? Did you not expect that this might be a likely outcome of toying with an obviously deranged driver?!" I have reread that thread many times and can't believe nobody has said one word of reprimand to the victim.

And I'm not going to be the first one to do it!! But now I must escape because I hear that Brian is not doing well with his learning of the lessons - maybe I'll just find a back road to Target right now.

Three Years

Three years ago tonight, I was oblivious. Well, I shouldn't say oblivious, but I certainly never knew how the next day would change our lives. I was a little concerned, since the neurologist appointment I had made for Brian was being rescheduled at the last minute, and my friend Jocelyne kept telling me December 1 is a bad luck day. But still. I was oblivious. What, me worry?

So the appointment changed everything ... Arnold Chiari and Syrinx are now household words for our family. My own vocabulary has grown tremendously, to inlude such terms as tethered spinal cord, pseudotumor cerebri, foramen magnum, and dura mater. Words that three years ago I would have shivered at the mere mention of one syllable. Now I read the message boards almost daily, trying to be sure the rug is never pulled out from under me again.

Surely, there were good experiences with the bad. We met many smart and world reknowned neurosurgeons. They took my calls, and called me back on weekends! The weeks after the surgery were strangely serene; with our family sort of all holed up in the house as if there were no world going on outside. Under different circumstances, it would have been beautiful. We played mancala, Sorry, Parcheesi, BusyTown, checkers, and (God help us) Pokemon Stadium for countless hours. We watched movies. We sat around.

But mainly, I worried. I worried beginning December 1st. I will never forget the date or the words, " I am not worried about (insert reason for visit), but I am very worried about (insert new symptoms, of which previously blissfully unaware)" nor will I forget "he needs an MRI of his brain, and an MRI of his c'spine" (c-what? oh yeah, that's another part of my new vocabulary, along with t-spine, lumbar, and medulla)

So the worrying began December 1st. After the MRI it did abate briefly. Only until I found out that the doctor had not called back not because it was normal, but because he wanted to see for himself the abnormal. And when he did return my call, again there were words I will never forget, "both of the things I was looking for ... (I swear he paused for effect) ... appear to be there."

This was several days after December 1, but I don't recall any dates other than December 1 for that part of the story. The month of December runs together. I remember we left the neurologist, and we went to the mall. Brian sat on Santa's lap, and his faith in Santa was so strong, that, even thought he was nine and in fourth grade, I truly feared he might not see 10 and fifth, and I was determined that he should hold onto that magic for another year. It was so bittersweet. He was big, and yet he was so small. And his teeth were a God-awful mess. That, too, I remember.

I remembered him sitting on my lap on a Disney transit bus, just weeks before, saying, " I can't wait until I have my own kids" so he could take them to Disney World. Would he ever have his own kids, I wondered now? That day kept haunting me. The doctor was no help. All he could say was, "every time a child has an MRI, it's scary."

After we saw Santa, I remember that we drove home. It was a surreal trip, between the news and my new anxieties. All of these years, being accused of hypochondria and never having been given anything this terrible to face: brain surgery. But I didn't even know that yet. It was still the unknown. In fact the unknown was so alarming, that when I found out that it meant brain surgery, that was like a huge blessing.

I did take Brian back to school that morning. On our way, trees were literally falling onto the roadways. It was very rainy and windy, and we were on a particularly winding road. A tree branch snapped off and landed on a power line. We were almost directly underneath it at the time. I just remember the entire day as if it happened only yesterday.

And I hope to never experience a day like that again.