Saturday, March 31, 2012

and so the next stage of my life has begun

It hasn't been too bad! I like my new office, I feel very happy there and for the most part, I like the people.  It has been a little slow to get off the ground, but I recall having that at one of the jobs that turned out to be my most prolific in terms of garnered experience; so I hope that will happen here as well. Already in two weeks (with two days off!) I have learned a lot about the world of non-profits, grants and fellowships, and there's so much more that I just don't know. It's an interesting place and of course filled with interesting people, all with multiple degrees. The irony of it is that I never told them about my masters coursework, that I am just a semester or so away from a masters degree of my own - albeit some 19 years in the past. Much of my work involved looking at financial statements and returns, and those accounting classes and business strategy assignments are all coming out of the foggy recesses of ancient memory banks.

In my poking and research, I stumbled across a ranking system for hiring. Having been advised to scale down my resume in terms of volunteering, so it wouldn't look like I was too distracted by life to be committed to work, I took out many of my community activities. I didn't mention the girl scouts, the Sunday school teaching, or the fact that I set up rooms and break them down for the homeless guests when they stay in our church once every few weeks.  The ranking system gave points for community service! I somehow managed to score a few anyway, I guess the high school work was relevant enough to count for that. But it's funny how you never know what will get you a foot in the door.

But after seeing that ranking system, I feel very fortunate to have found this job at all! After the many blind rejections from positions for which I know I was qualified, I can see that there's a tendency to look to the younger workers - they can be trained in the ways you like, they bring no bias, and they're just - well - younger looking!

Anyway that is my life for the moment. Interesting developments every day but I plod along. The hour-long drive is tedious, but it could be worse. It's broken into three sections, so I usually feel like it moves along. There are just a few patches of heavy traffic to get through a few intersections, or passing by school zones. The next couple of weeks, and then the summer, should be a little lighter as far as that goes.

As for M, she is set for next year with an off-campus apartment. She and her friends wanted to get a quad but they all had such terrible lottery numbers that all that remained were singles, some of them in the YMCA. So the housing office granted them an exception and they are able to live off-campus. They just have to prove that they have a lease, which now they do. We just happened to be in Boston when this all went down, so we got hold of a broker who was recommended by another parent, and she found them two one bedroom apartments in the same building, one directly above the other. So they won't share an actual common space, but they can pop in on each other all the time, and they'll also each have a little space for quiet if they need it.

B continues to torment me with his ways. After stumbling in three classes and being in danger of failing those for the marking period, he was left at home by himself to catch up while we went to Boston.  Apparently one of the other classes, one of the ones which was supposed to buoy his GPA up to a level where he could actually appear semi-attractive to a semi-decent school, had an assignment: complete and turn in the study guide (posted online) for a test Monday and get four points added to your grade. Not only did he not do this and therefore fail to get the four points, but he never saw the assignment and failed the test! So, now he is down in that one. It's extremely frustrating. We have our semi-annual appointment at the neurologist this week. So in addition to the usual anxiety over neurological intactness, now I am going to once again revisit the issue of ADD and possible treatment.

And in other news, it's time to plan for summer. M will be home in less than a month, and we have to figure out what to do with B. He won't be eligible for his driver's license in time to get himself to a summer job, so I'm not sure what to do about that. Last summer worked out well with the volunteering but I won't be in that same location this summer and I'm not familiar enough with my new work area to settle him around there. There's the tennis camp, which he can do, and maybe a sleep away camp for either tennis or computers. But those are expensive, and at this point it's pretty late to make those kinds of plans. M will go back to the beach and can drive him places on her day off, but we don't yet know what that will be. And she needs to think of these things too - getting ready to apply for coops in September should include some sort of volunteer work in her field or at least something related.  So she will have to get right on that when she comes home at the end of April.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

from terror to tetanus

Well, obviously my failure as a foster can't end quietly. The day finally arrived on which the cats had to be taken to the vet for their check up. I had hatched a whole plan involving breakfast, Kevin, the bathroom and the cats. As if the stress of having the appointment was not enough, I found that I had to take the Doll for a cataract surgery follow up at 8:15, and get back home by 9:30 to get the cats to their appointment by 10. This logistical puzzle would require all the pieces to fall precisely into place.

At 7am, we came downstairs. I began to open the can of food as usual, and the cats milled about on cue. Kevin, though, threw off the dance. He walked into their space, and one bolted. I put her bowl down, and she was suspect but came forward anyway. As I reached for her, she tried to get away, and when I picked her up, she became claws in every direction. Determined not to have borne the brunt for naught, I hoisted her on my hip, and feeling her pounding heart, pushed her into me and sucked it up. Astonishingly, I got her into the bathroom and dropped her bowl in with her.

Next was Lilly, who was making moves to escape Kevin, who was to have been her captor in the same fashion. I guess perhaps he was a little thrown by my outcome, so he just bailed and passed the buck to me. Luckily, Lilly is more passive when she's captured, and I was able to get her into the bathroom as well. At that point I was just dripping blood from a deep gash on the top (thankfully not the bottom) of my wrist.

Brushing off Kevin's belated offerings of assistance, I went upstairs to search for an appropriate dressing and some antibiotic ointment. When I looked at the gash, I felt as if I could feed it, it was so gaping.  Suddenly I began to feel queasy and lightheaded, so I grabbed a washcloth and pressed to try to stop the bleeding.

But who has time for these luxuries? I had to get to the Doll's, and I had to pack lunch for Brian. Checking the calendar to make sure that this was his assigned day for yearbook photos, I saw that in fact that day was to have been yesterday. Of course, he missed it. So I told him to just wear his blazer, tell them he thought it was today and see what happened, and off I went.

Once I got hold of the Doll, I dropped her at the surgery office and went to pick up her prescriptions so it wouldn't delay me on my quest to reach the vet on time.  I managed to pull off the pickup in no time, and went to the office to wait.  The waiting room was deserted when I got off the elevator, so I was relieved that we would get out on time. I sat in the chair and waited. And waited. And waited. Two women came off the elevator and went into the optical store opposite the surgical entrance.  They looked at me but said nothing.  About 15 minutes later, another followed.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"I'm waiting for my mother in law. She had surgery yesterday and she's in for her follow-up."

"Fourth floor," she says.

!!!!!

Hurrying to the fourth floor, I discovered she'd already been helped and seen and was nowhere to be found. I hopped on the elevator and there she was - on a bench at the ground level. Where she had been sitting for about 40 minutes - just slightly less than the time I spent in the surgical waiting room on a non-surgery day! Who the heck knew they had two floors? Nobody told me!

Anyway, the day improved slightly from there.  I made it home on time and ventured anxiously in to collect the girls from their bathroom prison.  Rosie, Grizabella, was hiding IN THE CARRIER! And when she saw me, she backed further in, so all I had to do was close it up. Lilly is more handleable if you can catch her, so I got her in with no problem, and we were to the vet on time and they both were model patients.

However, the painful line on my wrist was still troubling me: what if it got infected? what if I get tetanus? what if it needs stitches? These thoughts plagued me, and the vet's reaction to seeing it didn't help. I decided to run into the urgent care clinic and have it looked at.  So that's where it got bad again. I had to get a tetanus shot! She didn't think it needed stitches and she gave me a prophylactic antibiotic but I'm not going to fill it if the gash starts to fill in. But she asked about the tetanus and it's been probably 30 years. Lately every time I cut myself, I wonder if there's tetanus toxoid although I think there have probably been two cases in NJ in the last 20 or so years, according to some study that I saw online. So I agreed to the shot, although I did insist that they get that pertussis component out of it - they tried to sneak that past me and if I hadn't asked, I would have had a three-in-one shot instead of the two-in-one.

Anyway that's the rambling story of my day. I now have one bad arm with cuts and wounds, and a bad arm that's beginning to ache when I touch or lift it. I'm trying not to read about the side effects of the vaccine, but I've read for hours today anyway. And B is in the basement with his friend, they are off from school for the weekend, starting now and ending on Tuesday! Kevin is on his way back from a dinner in NYC with a client.

And in other news, M is back to school, pierced cartilage and all. She is in the throes off housing woes right now, as she and her three would-be roommates aren't likely to be able to find a room in which they can all live; they all four had lottery numbers which didn't allow them to pick until the very last day, which is next Tuesday. So we will see what happens when they go to do that.  And good thing it's not tonight because they have no power in their dorm, due to a huge transformer explosion yesterday. And she is lucky - some of the dorms had to be evacuated. Not hers though - I guess because it was built back in the days when there was no electricity anyway!

Saturday, March 3, 2012

the week in review

So, this was one of those rare weeks where it feels like the planets were just properly aligned. I got the job, Kevin got a nice raise (and it's about time, he's been operating at a deficit for the past couple of years), my mammogram was clear and B's health has improved. Of course, there has to be a little cloud around every silver lining, so that would be B's grades, not much improved from a week ago; in English, actually declining.

I got the job!!! I cannot even believe it, the whole experience was like a dream. I had that feeling of stepping into the place where I belonged from the second I got out of my car for the first interview.  I carried around a certain amount of guilt regarding the other job which I had accepted, but I was always honest with the second group of people.  (Well, except I never actually admitted to having accepted the job but I'm sure it was implied; no employer waits two weeks for you to give an answer.) In all fairness (to me, none of this is fair to Job A) I wouldn't have been able to delay as long as I did if they hadn't had the ridiculous requirement of the physical, and then when I did that on a Monday, they told me to start the following Monday, which bought me the rest of the week and turned out to be exactly what I needed.

So, on my second interview with Job B, I met with the second potential boss and then the first came back in and said, "we would like to offer you the job." I was so excited! But it just got better and better. They do want me to work 9 to 5, I would have preferred earlier but that's fine, I won't complain. Then they sent me their benefits package and there are tons of vacation and sick days allocated, and that's not even counting regular holidays! (When do we work???) And they're sending me a proper offering letter which I am to sign one copy of and return ASAP! Imagine if Job A had done that, what a predicament I'd be in now.  They want me to start in two weeks so they have time to set up my space and then I have to wait for someone who orients new employees to return from vacation. So I have two more weeks of unemployment and then I'll be gainfully employed. I'm really excited, hope I can perform up to expectations and that the job goes as smoothly as the process has so far. If it were up to me, I'd work here for the rest of my working life. Maybe we can move closer one day ;-) The train ride into NY has got to be pretty efficient from there.

I felt that my handling of the backing out of my verbal acceptance was cowardly but fair enough. I called as soon as I got home, but knowing that since it was after 5, I stood a slim chance of getting the HR woman. It was before 5:15, so I thought she might still pick up, but she didn't. So I left a message and explained that I had gotten another offer which financially I could not refuse, and then sent a follow-up email to make sure she got the news.  I received no reply, but as I told a friend, I wouldn't have replied to me either. I would have slammed down the phone, cursed a few times and then started the process to make things right. Let's just hope I don't have to search for jobs ever again - that bridge has definitely been blown out of the water.

As for Kevin, they had their compensation meetings yesterday and he was quite pleased to learn that he was finally being rewarded for some of his efforts. He's been at this one and only job forever, which can work either for or against you. You never get huge leaps in salary by changing jobs for better pay, but you also have job security, especially when you've worked in every spot from the lowest to the spot where you bump your head repeatedly on the glass ceiling (that's where he is now and has been for years).  But we are very happy to be able to breathe a little more easily about tuition payments, at least for this year and next. Beyond that - well we will see. A lot depends on grades and scores, possibly even more so than our college purchasing power.

And in other news, the foster failure is almost official. I can't return those poor cats. I guess everyone was right. Lilly is still very timid and hits the ground and cringes if she has forgotten to run in time and we go to pet her. Her ears flatten back and her entire body stiffens. But she no longer hisses, and she purrs like a motorboat when food is involved; sometimes she even purrs for play. So I know she's happy, she just can't fight the panic inside. Rosie is slowly forgiving me for chasing her around the house in an attempt to box her up with Lilly (who strangely, just viewed that as another of my entrapments, like when I capture her to pet her) but she hasn't come back 100%. Eventually I will have to capture them again, as I worry about Rosie's eye and want my own vet to have a look at it. It doesn't open and it oozes black gunk that I pick out every few days (she tolerates this, thank goodness). But it isn't bothering her so I'll let her relax and settle in for a while longer. And also save up for the visit!

Their biggest excitement today will be the arrival of M. They are planning a huge reception! (I think it mostly involves running under the couch...)

Thursday, March 1, 2012

march madness

We have our own version of March madness going on here! It involves B and his schooling, the cats and their issues, and me and my job crisis.

B missed a week of school last week, after missing one day two weeks earlier. He had started to plummet grade wise which always makes me wonder what he is really doing when he says he is studying for hours. For now, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he is appropriately chagrined, and will right the situation on his own. I don't know why, but it's always the third marking period when he takes these big stumbles.

The cats! I have still fallen into the category of Foster Failure but there is a big problem and it's cat pee.  Someone has been expressing distaste and I'm not sure who. My prime suspect is my Puff, but nobody has been caught in the act, so it could just as easily be any of the rest.  If a towel or article of clothing lands on the floor in the laundry room, it's peed on by morning. Same for clothes left out on the table in the dining room, or anything that happens to fall to the floor. Small area rugs are dwindling in numbers as I find them peed on and throw them out, and Abby is down to one new dog bed, which I ordered for her because it's off the ground and hopefully won't be viewed as a giant litterbox (as the cedar beds were seen by the offender). I scoop the boxes twice daily, and change weekly. I am at a loss. Video monitoring may be my next step!

And the job crisis.  I have been offered one job and am supposed to start Monday. But another may give me an offer, and what do I do? I feel like a terrible slug but there's not much choice. The job that I might be offered is, no doubt about it, a better opportunity. It's a job I can stay in for the long term. It offers intellectual challenges and a larger paycheck. And, although both are equally lengthy travels for me, Job B is a less traffic-ridden route.  Who would think that with all the trouble finding jobs that I have had, I'd end up in this situation? I had thought for a while that I would be lucky just to get one.

But perhaps that will be what happens. Job B has invited me back for a second interview today, and after that I hope I will clearly know their intentions. In fact, if they don't make these known by tomorrow, I will have to show up for Job A on Monday, or else relinquish it on the hopes that I will get B. One lesson I have learned is not to feel pressured to give an answer on the spot. My conversation when I got the offer replays in my head several times a day.

"Are you going to accept?"

"I probably will."

"You PROBABLY will?"

Cringe. She sounded so horrified that I said, "OK, I will!" But then she went over the low rate of pay, the length of the commute, and said that she wants me to be sure because she doesn't just want me to take the job and wait for something better to come along. Foreshadowing?  But I do feel terrible, because it's been two weeks that they have been waiting for me to start (although much of this is due to their odd requirement that I have medical clearance before starting).  The very next day after accepting, I got the email from Job B. I had hoped to have an answer early in the week but they are taking longer than that. I guess I should be happy it's happening this fast, as it took them six weeks to respond in the first place!

My dilemma now is - should an offer come through from B - is it OK to contact A through email with the news, or is a phone call a necessity? All my instincts tell me that the phone call is the right way to go. But my inner coward is horrified and can't imagine what to say.  I'm trying not to worry too much about it just in case B turns out to be a washout.

And in other news, M will be home this weekend! We have a whirlwind of activities planned, including a trip to NYC before she leaves for a tropical vacation with a friend on Tuesday morning.  Of course, if Job B doesn't pan out, Monday will be my first day at A. Added to last week's stress were my visit to the doctor, who, at 80, is hard of hearing and apparently of short term recall as well, as he asked me three times how old I was while he was checking my blood pressure, which was driven through the roof by this line of questioning while I was trying to keep my white coat hypertension in check.  Eventually he left and charged the nurse with running an EKG on me, which, with him out of the room, was normal, so I was left to go home with my flip flopping heart and skyrocketing dia- and systolics. The next day I had an annual mammogram, and sweated out that as well. I spent the day hoping for no call from the mammography center and for a call from Job B. Neither happened.